roOm 4 mY hEAd

Hey all, as da name suggests, this place is where i have da liberty to expose you to ne kinda crap! nething at all i find worth mentioning finds a mention here. Cricket and Harry Potter r my biggest interests, so all cricket n HP fans are welcome to visit my blog. Smetimes, to avoid the bore of studying, a few poems also find their way into my blog. Avid writers, my sincere apologies to you!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

RISK it!

i found the poem below in a book n thot i'd share it with u: [blogspot doesnt allow stuff to be posted in poem format!..invariably, my alignment becomes competely horizontal without breaks when it finally gets published!] To laugh is to risk appearing the fool, To weep is to risk appearing sentimental, To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks Must be taken, Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live. Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves, they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free. I have been getting into quite a lot of trouble lately...i have surprised myself in the guts i've shown n the risks i've taken....the poem kinda made me feel good about myself u its really brave to be taking risks....n thats true, cuz u cant learn unless u dare to risk it....playing it safe doesnt help in the long run...we tend to stagnate....but one should know to differentiate between risk taking and gambling...risks r calculated n planned and gambling is like shooting in the dark...taking risks helps u gain experience and if it fails, we know what not to do the next time...healthy excercise reely!..n nice justification for my actions ; ) if u have conviction, go ahead n risk it! Cheers

When life screws u....the damn Bitch! seems so far away... had all my joys... loved ones were at my side....... ....Today....i stand alone.... Peering through cobwebs of sorrows, Searching in the horizon, For the yesterday.... My yesterday....sigh! it seems too far away! P.S.- yes, board results out...surprisingly not suicidal yet...shockingly poetic instead!...was worse than imagined...neva got so low in my life!....learnt a good lesson tho....

MYOB Please!!

Lack of sleep, constant sweating, rapid heart beat, high blood pressure, stress, anxiety and loss of appetite. No, its not hyperglycemia. Parents, if u notice any of the above symptoms in ur child, he or she is suffering from an acute case of Result phobia. That’s right fear of results, fear of underperformance and fear of not living upto a sea of expectations. Just today morning I received a call from a family friend in Mumbai. Instead of the usual (and more courteous) “How are you?”, I was greeted instead with “How were ur results? How much did u score??”. And asked with such anxiety that it would seem like a matter of life and death. Frankly, it is nearly a matter of life and death for many. But the problem is that the ‘many’ here doesn’t really refer to the students, it refers to their parents and the rest of the family who in many cases show more pronounced symptoms of result phobia than the child itself! Mrs. Raghavan, the family friend was not the only one. I happened to receive three more calls enquiring about my board results which are still a day away ( Thankfully!). With the Maharashtra board results so close, it is not a good time to be in my shoes or for that reason in the shoes of ne of the thousands of students who’ve taken the exam. It is during this time that u suddenly realize how many relatives and friends one has! Calls keep pouring in to enquire about our results. It makes me wonder why anyone beyond my family would be or should be so bothered about My result? Something tells me, its not genuine concern. Perhaps, people get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of it. In any case, it only makes me look forward to my results even less. My point is this- It is us, the students, who take the exam, who are forced into attending ever so many classes, who have to handle the stress of competition and the pressure of living upto the sky-high expectations of parents, each of whom believe their child to be a genius! We are the ones most affected by the results. It is our future at stake. It can make or break our self-confidence and indeed our careers. Parents of course are also equally affected and that is justified. The rest of course have nothing to do with it! Nothing at all! Then y must I be obliged to inform each of them of my result?! They didn’t bother to wish me Best of luck, no, but they’ll be there to offer their fake sympathies and give their clichéd advices on life and career. They don’t really care what happens to me, they just have to satisfy their curiosity n hope that I fare a bit worse than their own child so they can feel better about it. Now that is simply evil, if u ask me! I am answerable to myself and to my near family. People who sincerely care and who want the best for me. So I’ve decided I’m not going to take any calls tomorrow. Even if I get a ninety percent ill celebrate it with my near and dear ones because I know itll mean the world to them. In fact, me and my pals, we made a pact yesterday. We are NOT going to ask each other about our results. Results aren’t going to change nething for us.….cuz between us, nothing else but friendship matters; between us, we don’t need to give ne answers or explanations; between us, its just Us- us having a good time together and being there for each other as we have been so far. To our parents, if we don’t perform well, we promise we’ll put our heart and soul into whatever we do and make it up to them. And as for the rest of the world- u should jolly well learn to keep ur annoying nose out of other people’s business!

Do I Plead Guilty?

Im so the past few months i have felt like shit, felt like a load of crap, felt useless, worthless, jobless, aimless.....but i havent felt quite as bad as i am feeling rite im movng around in fear of ruining a very very dear friendship and of losing a very dear friend, one of my best friends.....all cuz of me.....or so i am to think......the worst part is im helpless...becuz nuthing i say or do now can change wot has happened....and its killing me to know dat i cant make things allright....its also killing me to find dat im still unable to blame myself for this....its not ego, its my conscience.....i dunno if my conscience is misplaced but it has supported me in my actions.................da past few days have been such a roller coaster ride...everythings been moving so fast that i havent really had time to think.....think....maybe dats smething i shd have hang on.... i did think, i thought a LOT.....i guess i just wasnt thinking right....dats wen u need smeone to guide the moment, i have no one to confide in....not for a while......but im so restless...had to get my frustrations out in some form..... i guess dat xplains da reason for this absurd blog....if u cared to give it a read, my apologies to u for an absolutely senseless post....for the time being, im gonna practice patience......cheers